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So thank you for all your support in the last post. I had my scan on Sat and it came back clear. Though one of the mammogramms had a shadow on it so they had to do it again and as I could see the first one it just looked pretty much exactly like scans of people's cancer and I freaked out a bit and wasn't expecting them to tell me it was all fine. But it is, so that's fantastic. Phew!

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I am completely knackered, somehow lying about rewatching supersizers and the I.T. Crowd (I wish there were fewer hilarious male rape jokes in the I.T. crowd (i.e. none) but it’s still awesome. I realised I have missed a trick by not rewatching Supersizers in chronological order based on what period they are eating.

Rob and Gemma linked to the above article on FB, it’s a bit weird that the person writing it seems to think they invented nice guy syndrome BUT it’s a really interesting article. One thing I would say (An ex used to not want to watch Peep Show with me because it would be shameful for him as a man having MEN’S MOTIVATION in a lady’s face like that or something, because ladies are not all about getting some sex or something.) is that I am not sure Mark is peculiarly male, the reason Peep Show is so hard to watch is because most people have had those thoughts at some time or other even if they, in their hearts, know it’s bullshit to hope you’re winning at life.

I now own some berets and some very snuggly leggings after a Primark shopping trip with my Mum. I can start hibernating now, right?

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I had an excellent weekend, Friday I was meant to go to Club Action but instead I had a nap and woke up at 9 and needed to dye my hair and set it in curlers for Krzysia and Liz’s wedding the next day so that didn’t happen. I watched QI though which is starting to annoy me a lot. And I watched a bit of Million Pound Drop with Josh Widdecome and Alex Brooker because I love them and their obvious bromance and they won actual money! Go them!

Sleeping on rollers is incredibly painful. I had to adopt a weird *face down smothering self in pillow* thing. Possibly should invest in some tongs.

Saturday I got up at 6, which is a disgusting time to wake up, especially if you’ve been suffocating yourself for most of the night. I somehow managed to get to Victoria in time for my train and I bought a ticket and a flapjack (flapjack was probably less essential but I’d only had 4 meals in 2 days so it was needed.) and sat on a train with lots of people going to the vintage thing at Goodwood and read Sarah Beth’s ‘zine and some stuff about Thucydides. (He apparently is the first person in (Western???) history to realise about contagion as spread of disease as opposed to plagues being specific punishments from the gods. Though I suppose the two are not mutually exclusive.

Um anyway I got to Redhill all by myself which K was very impressed with. And I thought everyone thought I was a competent adult. (NB: no one thinks this.) Jane and Tina turned up and Jane burst into tears immediately upon seeing Krzysia. We were getting an old routemaster (apparently an old 73) to the registry office & the bus driver told us about famous people who were getting married on the bus later.

We were a bit early to the registry office and so just sat listening to music for a bit, unfortunately a song Liz had not realised was on her MP3 player started playing. It’s a delightful song about defriending someone on Facebook and beating them to death with a large dildo. Or wanting to beat them to death. I believe it’s called Psycho bitch or something like that. I am not sure any of the parents on the bus were that impressed but baby Grace (Anya & Kev’s little girl) did a lovely dance to the song.

Then they got married. (Some people may not see the point in changing the name of civil partnerships to marriages but sticking ‘civil partner’ in where ‘wife’ would do is a pain in the arse.) And they did a cry, and Alice (who was ring bearer) did a cry and Jane and maybe me…um maybe. The registrar had some serious problems with Krzysia’s name despite it being spelt phonetically for him. And Liz’s (Maiden!) surname was completely too hard for him. He was funny though so he can have a pass. Congratulations Mrs and Mrs Barnsby!

I like seeing Jane/Tina/Nicky/Krzysia together, it’s so cute seeing them chatting about old times and it’s lovely how they all know each other so well even if they don’t see each other for a while. Ages ago one of my Aussie cousins said that it was lovely seeing me on FB time and again with the friends I’ve known for ages. And she’s right, knowing people for a long time and having loads of shared experiences is awesome!

After we went to Lost Society which I last went to for K’s birthday about a billion years ago (where we saw Marawa the Amazing who does hula hoop and has since been on Britain’s got talent.) and we had little sandwiches and cakes and tea and then cocktails. Argh it was pretty good. Then at 7ish everyone went off to a club which was a bit beyond my abilities at this point (though Liz tried to make me stay by flinging herself at me.)

I went on to see David and Katy and Lizzy in the pub and then I went home. At this point I was full of sugar and very, very tired. Possibly incoherent, I kept doing that thing I do when tired when I say stuff I don’t really think because it’s easier than trying to work out what I do think. Sorry if I was annoying y’all.

Sunday I ordered Pizza and watched Who (mediocre); Moone Boy (excellent, a less preachy and much more funny boy meets world. NB calling it the new Father Ted because it’s set in Ireland is stupid, don’t do that.); Some Black Books (excellent as always) & How do you want me? Which I hadn’t ever watched before and it turns out it is unremembered generally for a reason. Apart from Peter Serafinowicz being amazing as the psychotically aggressive younger brother of the main female character (Charlotte Coleman) it’s all very dull. Very 90s, clearly ‘inspired’ by four weddings and a funeral, full of idiot manchildren and emotionally distant women. The main relationship (Dylan Moran and Charlotte Coleman) is really awful; seriously if your wife doesn’t do anything about her father and brother being abusive fuckwits then maybe this isn’t the relationship for you.

Of course I am going to finish the next two seasons. It’s like A Touch of Cloth, it may be shit but I am not letting it beat me! Also ATOC has reunited Kurt and Brian from Teachers. (Hmmm maybe I should rewatch Teachers rather than watch How do you want me?)

Also I made Kryzsia and Liz a gift and a card

Happy couple

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We are now meant to use FAP as an internal abbreviation for one of our exams. *sideways eye glance* If you’re going by the name of the paper it’d be called FOP but um, no…FAP…



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I read this article this morning on eating disorder recovery. The first few paragraphs hit me quite hard. I’m an either/or person. I don’t like the idea of finding the ‘grey’ there isn’t anything that grey about me. I know my life would be easier if I could sit in the grey area but I’m not sure I can do it. I have an awful lot to think about.

Um anyway I have glasses. They have made my brain freak out despite them not being a big prescription because one of my eyes is short sighted and one is long sighted. I have nearly fallen over 3 times! I can also see in 3-d as my brain used to flatten things. It feels seriously weird. It might also explain why, when I get migraine aura, my brain flattens everything so I have no depth perception at all.

After my little trip with Kate I now want to watch ALL the Harry Potter filums in one go. Or maybe 2 or 3 goes. Anyone fancy lending me the first and second one to start with, plsthnx? Am also about to start watching all of Sailor Moon and Castle. It’s nice to know I am using my year out to do useful things. (Today I got very angry and upset that I can’t go back this year because of other people being dicks. If it had been me being a dick then I could have lived with that.

Thank you ppls who were nice about my last wordpress blog. I never really thought I’d ever have people saying they liked reading stuff I think in my brain. It’s nice.

I am also exhausted and fed up of hearing about Julian fucking Assange, even when good people say good and clever things about him it exhausts me. This is because I’m even more fed up and annoyed that people who are condemning him wouldn’t ever really apply this to their real lives and how they’d treat women and men they know in that position. Women and men who know they’d never be believed are not just in Sweden.

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Re-reading my last post it sounds a little like it is Anya and Rhys who are getting married. IT IS NOT THEM THAT IS GETTING MARRIED because that would be illegal and stuff.

I do feel really blessed at the moment with regards to friends, people who get me and aren't dismissive and who I can share nice things with. <3

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Booo! My iPod doesn’t seem to be able to connect to the wi-fi at work! Hope everyone is well! I haven’t done a what I did on my weekend post for a while so um here goes:

Friday I caught up on the billionty episodes of Adventure time season 4 that I’ve missed. I think this series is my favourite, it’s pleasingly bonkers but keeps giving lots of fascinating little hints about what Ood is and why the land is so damn weird. It’s definitely got weirder as time has gone on. And this is a show that started with Bender from Futurama voicing a stretchy dog. The comics have also been excellent (the main one is being writing by him off of Dinosaur Comics so it’s not surprising really!) though I am still not sure it’s in any way suitable for children. Anyway I urge you all to watch B-mo Noir on YouTube NOW! Please do this, it is essential! You don’t really need to know the characters it’s just a nice little pastiche involving a sexy chicken and only 11 mins long. :D

I haven’t been sleeping well so Saturday I got up early (about 6ish) played about with the tyre on my bike until it was fixed (It doesn’t seem to have a puncture but I like playing with tyre levers), then started feeling exhausted so went back to sleep for 5 hours. I did a 35min bike ride in which I discovered Exciting Off Road Country Path which leads from back of my house to the hospital. It’s actually a lovely ride but ends when you hit a dual carriageway (The A12) which spoils the WOAH THE COUNTRYSIDE RIGHT BEHIND MY HOUSE feeling a bit. I am doing an actual training plan though I am going to have to do today’s ride on a Barclay’s Bike due to completely being unable to sleep last night. I suspect I am hypomanic at the moment as I can’t sleep and am doing ALL THE THINGS and can’t stop even though I am exhausted. But hey, at least all the things are being done!

After shower and makeup (which immediately fell off my face due to heat and needed to be redone) I went to meeting Liz and Rhys for their hen night at Madame Jojo’s. SO EXCITE! I was incredibly late and got very stressed and forgot where Brewer St was despite being there last week to pick my comics up and eat frozen yoghurt! I am a fool! Anyway it was a fantastic night, the cabaret was good (Though the transgender and male performers were all too tall for the stage once they had their hats and heels on.) and Michaela got the girls a cake which was brought out by a fantastically bitchy queen who posed for sexy pictures with it. <3

A lady got a stripper for her hen night and it was all a bit horribly awkward. Someone paying a man I don’t know to gyrate in my face isn’t really my idea of fun but hey ho! My favourite bit of the strip he did was when he had to bundle all his clothes up and run off in his g string. (The next day Airhead told me a horrific story about another deeply uncomfortable strip where no one came out of it feeling happy and the people who organised the hen night asked the guy for £10 back because he didn’t take his pants off. Apparently doctors are really stingy!) One of the singers was called Ms Sahhara and she’s gorgeous and came and danced with Anya and Rhys who ended up looking like tiny mini people. I am so happy about them getting married. Two people I genuinely adore and who are really made for one another. :D We decided the pub afterwards was a bit dull so went for a McDonalds. I had wedges and a McFlurry because that = protein and carbs and is very close to being a full meal. Yes.

On my way home I met a man who said I had a fantastic aura. If anyone talks to me in London my immediate reaction is to close my bag and pull it very close but the man didn’t seem very interested in my bag, just in how interesting my aura was. Maybe it was the McFlurry.

Yesterday I woke up early because, 3 months late I was being given my BIRTHDAY present from my best friends. I had convinced myself that it was going to be something Airhead thought was excellent but I’d hate. Like driving offroad (I can’t drive, I actually got genuinely panicked about this and sent her an email reminding her about this.) or bungee jumping. I met her in Richmond after having ice cream for breakfast, we had lunch and went in the car. I had no idea where to. We ended up nearish Watford before I asked. She said we were going to Leeds. This seemed a really bad idea but one that I wouldn’t put past her! Then she passed me tickets for the Harry Potter Studio tour. Completely unexpected but wonderful!

I work just up the road from the WB offices in London and as you walk past they have the crests of the four houses just inside the doors and every time I go past I get all annoyed that I can’t really afford to go to the studio tour!

As you go in there are handprints of the three main cast members and I was confused to learn my hand is nearly exactly the same size and shape as Daniel Radcliff’s. He’s a grown up actual man and I have the same size hands as him! :/ (My hands are quite small)

There’s a little video at the beginning of the tour that gives the impression that Warner Brothers’ decision to film the Harry Potter stories was purely altruistic to ensure fans could watch these ‘fantastic tales’. Then you go off into a cinema and watch a little thing with Daniel, Emma and Rupert showing clips of when they were kids and being hugged by various crew members. So cute! Then the screen lifts up and you go in through into the Great Hall!

They had lots of the stuff I find really fascinating like the graphic designs for Weasley’s Wheezes products and The Daily Prophet and they also had the inside of a Mandrake so you could see how it worked. A lady came up to us and said the baby Voldemort in one of the cases always scares her and she’s worried one day she’ll come into work and he’ll have gone missing.

We also allowed ourselves to be thoroughly ripped off and bought some butterbeer. Both Airhead and I are intelligent enough to understand we were being ripped off but were also far too excited to stop that happening. Is there a word for that? Anyway I can tell you Butterbeer is roughly 95% sugar and contains no alcohol. Very disappointing. We were sad they didn’t sell firewhiskey. I got a bit over the top excited by the Knightbus.

I wanted a Marauder’s map but that was £30 which is beyond a rip off (for £10 more you can get a really beautiful time turner instead!) so I got a GIANT mug which appears to require two tea bags

Tea Managed.

I also bought a chocolate frog because the graphic design of the box was astounding but it was £8 which upset me more than the map because the sweets were so obviously aimed at children whose parents couldn’t say no. The wands were nice but not nice enough and Luna and Hermione’s wands are a bit rubbish and they’re the only ones I’d really want. (Couldn’t find Tonks’ one!) This is Tonks’ one, It’s lovely actually, isn’t it?

Then Airhead and I found a bright blue lizard lolly to help us through the hideous sugar crash from the butterbeer. In the end I decided to leave mine til later which is probably wise…

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If you care about brilliant libraries that are proactive and know loads about women’s history and run bloody excellent events and exhibitions (or if you think feminists are really negative and never do anything positive, because this library is the most proactive and positive library I’ve ever been to) then please could you consider writing a letter or signing the petition to keep The Women’s Library open? Please? I think it is one of the most wonderful places I have ever been.